First-time parents are surprised to find that the addition of one (or more) exquisite, small, and helpless person(s) can make them feel joyful and
competent one moment, and small and helpless themselves the next. It is not unusual to see fatigue, fear, and self-doubt co-exist with pride, unsurpassed love, and hope. The following tips from jackpotjill.live, time-tested by the Freedman Center, have helped thousands of parents begin that journey successfully.
Expect stress. Becoming a parent is a major life transition. All transitions, no matter how eagerly anticipated, are accompanied by some degree of stress. And despite our best preparations, we may have to adjust our plans as we go along.
Join a new parents group. It doesn’t have to be specific to your life situation. Single parents, adoptive parents, same gender parents, parents of multiples, traditional couples…all first-time parents experience the same basic joys and concerns. You’ll make new friends and find non-judgmental support. And the old saying is true: a shared happiness is doubled and a shared worry is cut in half.
Accept help. Don’t try to be super-mom or super-dad. Neighbors, relatives, friends, and/ or co-workers are often delighted to help, if you let them know what you need. Just having an hour to sleep, shower, or take a walk while someone you trust cares for your infant can give you a much-needed lift.
Believe in yourself. You DO know what’s best for your baby. Sort through the mountains of advice you’ll receive from friends, relatives, strangers, doctors, magazines, and parenting blogs. Try out new ideas that sound good to you. Toss the rest.
Forgive yourself. You’re going to make mistakes. We all do. Nobody has all the answers, and even the “experts” often disagree about “what’s best for baby.” Babies’ needs seem to change daily – once you feel you have something figured out, it changes. Allow yourself to continue getting to know baby and your relationship with him/her daily. Talk to your partner about strategies that work and support each other as you figure things out together.
Review and revise your expectations of yourself. Remember that you have a new baby depending on you for every need. Let go of any guilt caused by unfinished chores. It is important to take time for yourself and spend time with your family, and play games from casinos francais.
Ask questions. No matter how much we know about children and about our pre-baby selves, we all have to learn how to be parents. Be open to surprises; you may find yourself changing some of your preconceived notions about parenthood!
Remember who you used to be. Some new parents feel they shouldn’t miss their former “carefree” selves. It’s normal to mourn the past, even when the present is full. Ask your pre-baby friends to stay in touch and be patient while you adjust to your new life. When the time is right, return to some of your former hobbies and activities. In the meantime, celebrate the new, evolving you. Be aware of your own feelings, of the full range of experiences related to becoming a new parent. Moms and dads can feel a wide range of emotions, including anxiety, sadness, or fear. Having different feelings associated with new parenthood is not shameful and is not a reflection of your ability to parent.
