Every child, left free to be himself, he takes us by the hand into a world of games, new things to learn and new worlds to explore. Being able to open ourselves to the world is a way to respect the intrinsic nature of each child and nourish constructive relationship with our son.
What can we do – in practice – to open ourselves to the best relationship with our son?
Here for you 3 step useful and practical …
- Choose what to give power
- Get in touch with your inner child
- Welcome the excitement of our son
1) Choose what to empower
Every moment in life we can choose what to give power and where to put the emphasis and our energy. At any time we can bring awareness to ourselves.
The other day I went down to the kitchen to take a break and see the ground all the clothes that we put in the laundry basket. And when I say everyone I mean everyone ….
I noticed, however, an instant before the lid of the basket was closing from the inside. That curiosity took over and I went to have a look what was going on in the basket. It was my son a little over four years that had slipped in in reverent silence. He brought with him a new towel I had given him, and all day he brought below playing worlds that only he saw in his imagination.
The fun for that image and the tenderness I felt has taken over and I deeply loved the time with my son. After a bit played together I began to do anything else. And so my son.
The clothes? The clothes were all on the ground.
How to bring order? I was inspired by the spirit of the first: I played with him.
I knelt down to look into his eyes (how great we are we adults for our kids!)
I said, “Now we play to put all the clothes in the basket!” And I have started.
He immediately understood the game with skill and dexterity in the blink of an eye we had put everything in order.
Every day we are faced with the choice of giving full attention only to the ground clothes, or go a little ‘further and find that curious child who was playing and exploring. And although it is not always easy to choose it is always possible, just put the intent and will become more and more frequent.
2) Contact your inner child
The second step to open up the best relationship with our son is maintaining an open dialogue with our child, boy or girl, interior that has always been with us, even when we forget.
Why is it so useful also in the relationship with our son?
Let us always remember: kids are kids and they want to play! Especially the smaller ones. Through play we have seen that we can also offer them the rules.
You may also like to read another article on carolinejoyblog: All about Mindfulness for children
This takes us to an “exercise” in daily contact our inner child that when it’s quiet and listen, he wants to play and have fun. It is that part of us that takes life with a smile and joy. What it is curious to explore and learn about the world. That is determined and wants to do what it has set itself to do. Contact this part within us, allowing us to seize our son and to be open to creativity that children have in it all along.
By operating more often so, we will realize that we will have the benefits in terms of health and peace of mind. And that life will be easier.
3) Acceptance of the emotion
Here we are at the third step to open up the best relationship with our son: welcome his emotion.
Why is it so important to welcome the excitement? Because in this way we give value to the inner world of our son. It is as if we said, “What you’re feeling is okay. I understand you”. If he gets angry with us, it is totally useless to tell him “No, you should not get upset” The implied message that comes is: “What you are feeling is wrong.” And from there to think – I’m wrong – it is a short step.
Already the word is contained accommodate the profound message: we must first collect what is there. In the form in which it is.
If our son excited screams as we are driving “look mom! There is the playground! “What he is feeling is joy and enthusiasm. Let’s start from her emotion, before anything else: “Yes, some love, how nice the playground.”
We have collected-greeted her excitement and be reflected in him.
How many times instead of facing the “look mom! there is the playground! “we first we get our hands on to say” No! we can not stop “or we ignore it ignoring his emotion, not accepting what he brought us.
Sometimes just very little.
What if he make a request we cannot perform?
Sometimes our daughter or our son, we can make a request to stop and go play, in a time when maybe we just cannot.
If we could not stop, we can say, “I know, it’s very nice to play on the playground, but now mom can not stop the car. We must go to the place so and so … “
It may be that the child put some ‘pout or cry, or remain quiet. If you remain calm, it is happy that the mother has understood and share with him the joy of having seen the playground and that’s enough.
If you have a grudge or cries, instead of being angry with him believing that he is doing a pointless whim, we can understand him saying “damn, how sad it is when we cannot do what we want, I understand that you may want to cry.”
There you will stop at the playground, however, he will feel welcomed and understood, and your relationship it will have a great benefit!